DaCrizzow

http://www.strava.com/activities/102222239   my 10th bike ride for 2013, not even adding up 350 miles for the year. this as opposed to a usual 6,000 miles a year and about 120-150 rides a year. i did 2 bike races and DNF'd on them both. no reason, really. just didn't feel it and walked off the course. made up some bullshit "mechanicals" reason to my friends and went home.   funny how my life turned into a big "intervention" when i put away the bike. i still get "glad to see you back riding" emails when i post a ride to strava, even. under different circumstances i would get it but it was never like i was just sitting in my apartment getting fat. i was out running my ass off almost every day and doing a trail race every few weeks anywhere between 15 and 50 miles.   i could give several reasons for leaving the sport, and all of them would be true. (to me, anyway). but a big part was as a road cyclist and one that races on a small team, there were ...

  solstice came and went and so the light starts hanging around a little longer each day. i usually do some sort of summer solstice ritual of an all day ride or run to celebrate the longest stretch of sunlight of the year but i'm beginning to think i've had it all wrong. as awesome as that 15+ hours of sunlight is, it's still a symbol of the sun going away a little bit more each day. my mind knows this and my body knows it. and by the end of each one of those summer solstice rituals my soul has recognized it and i'm just a little more sad knowing this. you can't see for the fog but there's a bridge there   this winter solstice is already feeling better than it ever has before. i can actually feel the darkness lifting. a couple minutes more of daylight each day begins to add up then daylight savings time and before i realize it, i'm out running later and later, wearing less clothing, and not to mention that more foods come in season and begin to taste be...

  2013. failure, change, breakdown, loss, depression, zen, transition. i guess i could say that about any year but this one has been especially...."cleansing." cleansing probably isn't the right word unless you think of it as food poisoning of the soul. i left (and lost) a part of my life that's disappeared as if it never happened. i lost a job of 10+ years. failed at my 10 day silent meditation retreat. not to mention the almost crippling emotional effects of leaving the program early. i left cycling after almost 15 years of racing and training. that in it's self has had a bit of a domino effect on my social life. as it's also resulted in my cycling team slowly falling apart. all this and some pretty devastating financial issues. of course there some victories as well but they really pale in comparison to what my failures are bringing to me.   while i walked away from cycling (for now, anyway) i ran toward...well, running. four, five times a week i headed to...

http://www.strava.com/activities/100990199   woke up a little slow this morning. kind of a habit lately. started it off with some kale juice (w/ginger) to wake me up. followed a bit later with a couple shots of espresso. starting to get it together now. watching some news and getting my gear laid out. since the seasons are changing and i've been kind of lazy about organizing my shit, it takes me forever to get out the door. i really only had two things to take care of today so i wasn't in a big hurry, so i had a little something to eat. a cut up banana covered in peanut butter and honey. i used to put this in a tortilla years ago before big bike rides and it always seemed to work, figured i would start trying this again.   i finally got out the door and headed for the woods. such a good, honest run. i never really got any big "rush" or anything but i never really crashed either. started to get a little worn toward the end but i actually went back to the singletrack ...

http://www.strava.com/activities/100716586 http://www.strava.com/activities/100883970   some nice runs this week. nothing to epic or groundbreaking or anything. just good, solid runs that felt good physically, mentally and spiritually. one of these runs i've labeled "session w/ coach eric." this was a run with my friend that i'm "coaching." it was their long run for the week. a solid 10 miler. closer to 11 miles but you know how garmins can be sometimes. these little "coaching" sessions totally make my week. over the 10-12 years of running, i've had about every overuse (or misuse) injury in the book. plantar fasciitis, plantar warts, shin splints, fractured metatarsals, etc. burn out, overtrain, (under train), all that, you name it.   most of my first training advice came from books and magazines. all giving me training plans of 5-7 days of running. complete with speed work, hill intervals, long runs, tempo runs. all bullshit. total bullsh...

http://www.strava.com/activities/100072094 http://www.strava.com/activities/100418657   feeling like i'm finding the zone again. body is still touch and go but mind and spirit are coming around. had a solid run on the 13th. friday the 13th. ran 10 miles with my friend that i'm "coaching." it was already dark when we got to the trail but we had our lights and it was all gravel, no technical save for the odd hole or fallen widowmaker. at one point we shut off our lights and could just make out the fog in and out of the tree silhouettes with the lights of the city a few miles away sparkling through the trees. it's moments like those that remind you how letting go of the day to day bullshit and making a little more effort than most people are willing to, you can find these moments of peace and "now." almost as reminders, on the way out the next five miles, we passed another two, maybe three people either running or on bikes. emphasizing the small crowd tha...

http://www.strava.com/activities/99909177   finally feeling the "light" again. all i really needed was a little mindless rest and a couple days of tweaking my diet. a little inspirational reading and and stuff doesn't hurt either. i've been missing that emotional / spiritual connection that i get from my runs lately. a while actually. mostly due to some lazy diet choices, weather and just some life stress. so the last few days i've really tried to start reigning in my diet, (more greens, less crap) of course i generally eat pretty healthy anyway but the last couple months it's been kind of here and there. about three years ago i started eating closer to the source. closer to nature, earth, either killed or grown. after awhile i could really feel a difference. not to mention weight loss and athletic performance but just an overall more secure connection to my spirituality. i know, whatever, hippie. i'll own that. when i'm eating plants, i'm consumi...

  http://www.strava.com/activities/99798974   does our past create our reality? is the future our only affirmation of this alleged reality? where does the present stand in all of this? i've been a musician, a drug addict, a husband, a cyclist, now a runner. what does any of this mean? most of these identities lasted over 10-15 years. one or two over 20 years. some of them still hang around, come and go, whatever. most of my life i figured i would die with a guitar in my hand. these days it's more likely i'll give out on a long run in the woods somewhere. these identities gave me so much to hang on to for so long. they also became an anchor at times. sometimes just keeping me in one place, sometimes dragging me down to the bottom. i've spent the last year struggling with these identities. struggling and letting go. i've since realized that WHAT i do doesn't define me but HOW i do what i do does.   this little running dialogue and script we replay in our head...

 a drive to the beach, though the coastal mountains with ice, snow, and even a coyote watching with a full winter coat. always a good omen. standing on the edge of a continent facing an ocean of karma and consequences. has it all caught up to me? have i really ran out of land? there's an ocean in front of me that leads me to believe there's a whole new land of opportunity if i can make it across. fire and angry, hostile natives on land, sharks and undertow at sea with only the promise of the unknown as an option. 

  beautiful winter day, not gonna ruin it by complaining about a crappy run. not sure what the problem was but just never got in the groove. every single step was an exercise in labor. it happens. as it's been cold and dry as opposed to our usual not so cold and rain, i welcome the dry weather. reminds me of back home in tennessee. although that was many years before i became an outdoor endurance junkie. it was just plain junkie back then. my reasons for spending several hours outside in crappy weather were much darker in those days than they are now. now it's just getting out in nature and trying to be "epic." having a bad run doesn't bother me so bad as it does knowing what a great experience i was actually having but due to my "not feeling it," that experienced was minimized. think it's my diet. it's been pretty crappy lately. the last few days i've tried to pick it up with less meat and more greens but still taking in a lot of stuff i s...

http://www.strava.com/activities/98824481   an uneventful and somewhat lazy run in sunny but 23 degree weather today. feel like the weighted backpack is really taking a toll. looking forward to tomorrow's long but lightweight run.   on a side note to carrying weight around.....i sold my fender precision bass i've had over 20 years this morning. basically gave it away but it felt like a noble sale. to some older guy (56) who just started playing a few years ago and now plays in his church band. he seemed excited. even sent me a text afterwards telling me how good it sounded through his amp. this coming on the heels of selling my old gibson guitar that i'd had for about 25 years. that guy even filmed me playing it one last time while i talked about our history together for a documentary he's making. paid me another $20 to boot. kind of a nice closure.   i used to feel so connected to these things. not really but i think i just felt like i was supposed to be so i played...

http://www.strava.com/activities/98708873   tonight i just let the night take over. I let my eyes adjust to darkness and tweaked my stride and pace to avoid falls, using techniques i've learned from reading Castenada. Even in darkness though, a well worn trail can show itself pretty well. It's just the rocks and roots that seem to creep up on ya.   My first consecutive two days of running in awhile. i probably went a couple miles longer than i should have but i guess i'm just eager to get "balls deep" into the idea of training again. seems like it's the only thing that gives me purpose at times. I always start out pretty good. disciplined, with a plan and a goal, with peaks, valleys and rest periods. next thing ya know, i'm seeing how far and deep i can go, either eating like shit or not enough and skipping my rest weeks. i start feeling strong and i get afraid of losing it and before i know what's hit me, my life is a wreck. well, not this season. ...

http://www.strava.com/activities/98485859   After a few weeks off with nothing but a couple of random runs and bike rides, training for my 2014 "campaign" begins.An easy 8+ mile run with a friend from my front door, through Forest Park and back. Temps in the 30's and dry. Dry! Followed with a green smoothie of kale, banana, avocado, apple and both chia and crushed flax seeds soaked in coconut water. I had an amazing protein drink from "jaiseed" while working the vitamix. During the last couple months of floundering around with just the occasional run or ride thrown in, I've put on a few unwanted and unneeded pounds and today is the day of turning that around. Luckily, this is what our bodies do best. Responding to positive changes. Oddly enough, this is what EVERYTHING does best. responding in a positive way to positive change.