no brain, no pain
http://www.strava.com/activities/104075351
only three workout days this week. it's only the first week of the year and i'm already freaking out that i'm not training enough. jesus, what the hell is wrong with me? i ran without my ipod tonight. just me and my thoughts. mind numbing, right? actually it's not that bad. for some reason, running with music ca sometimes lead me deeper and deeper into that inner dialogue vortex where nothing good ever comes of it. that inner dialogue that turns more into an interrogation on what am i doing with my life... what the hell was i thinking...does karma really exist...you get the idea.
all these years of sobriety and nothing has really changed. except maybe the coping mechanism. where i used to use drugs and alcohol to shut out the voices, now i rely on prolonged pain and exertion. running, cycling, more tattoos, low carb diets....
there are the days where i just don't want to get off my ass and do ANYTHING much less go run up and down hills for a couple hours. but then i head out and after 20 or so minutes, i wouldn't want to be doing anything else. usually depending on wether i have any food at home decides wether i'll stay in this up mood or not. there's also that sweet spot of when i'm really training heavy, doing a lot of miles for a few weeks and i'm feeling strong AND relaxed. just a machine of running, eating, sleeping, some random good moments with friends,maybe a book or movie thrown in. and then it happens. that turn where maybe i pushed a little too much on the training or get lazy with my food and start eating crap. next thing, i'm ass deep in "overtraining" syndrome. which is really just a case of imbalance. the idea of pushing ourselves too hard is bullshit. but it's got to be balanced with solid fuel and decent rest. maybe a little this, a little that for some variety, inspiration, whatever. living like shit, your free to eat like shit and to be honest, you should be fine...for awhile. but if you wanna live like a super fuckin' hero, frozen pizza and cokes ain't gonna cut it. something's gonna crack. for me it's my head. and once i crash it can take months to get it back together. fuck, the last time i had a huge overtraining crash was about a year and a half ago and to tell the truth, i'm still not sure i've recovered.
so it's been an odd first week back in training. only three runs but those three being 8, 12 and 20 milers. diet okay but a couple of questionable choices. sleeping better than usual but the rest of my off time hasn't been very inspiring or uplifting. also, shoes are falling apart but i'm committed to six more weeks before retiring them after the hagg lake 25k (http://haggmud.com/)
only three workout days this week. it's only the first week of the year and i'm already freaking out that i'm not training enough. jesus, what the hell is wrong with me? i ran without my ipod tonight. just me and my thoughts. mind numbing, right? actually it's not that bad. for some reason, running with music ca sometimes lead me deeper and deeper into that inner dialogue vortex where nothing good ever comes of it. that inner dialogue that turns more into an interrogation on what am i doing with my life... what the hell was i thinking...does karma really exist...you get the idea.
all these years of sobriety and nothing has really changed. except maybe the coping mechanism. where i used to use drugs and alcohol to shut out the voices, now i rely on prolonged pain and exertion. running, cycling, more tattoos, low carb diets....
there are the days where i just don't want to get off my ass and do ANYTHING much less go run up and down hills for a couple hours. but then i head out and after 20 or so minutes, i wouldn't want to be doing anything else. usually depending on wether i have any food at home decides wether i'll stay in this up mood or not. there's also that sweet spot of when i'm really training heavy, doing a lot of miles for a few weeks and i'm feeling strong AND relaxed. just a machine of running, eating, sleeping, some random good moments with friends,maybe a book or movie thrown in. and then it happens. that turn where maybe i pushed a little too much on the training or get lazy with my food and start eating crap. next thing, i'm ass deep in "overtraining" syndrome. which is really just a case of imbalance. the idea of pushing ourselves too hard is bullshit. but it's got to be balanced with solid fuel and decent rest. maybe a little this, a little that for some variety, inspiration, whatever. living like shit, your free to eat like shit and to be honest, you should be fine...for awhile. but if you wanna live like a super fuckin' hero, frozen pizza and cokes ain't gonna cut it. something's gonna crack. for me it's my head. and once i crash it can take months to get it back together. fuck, the last time i had a huge overtraining crash was about a year and a half ago and to tell the truth, i'm still not sure i've recovered.
so it's been an odd first week back in training. only three runs but those three being 8, 12 and 20 milers. diet okay but a couple of questionable choices. sleeping better than usual but the rest of my off time hasn't been very inspiring or uplifting. also, shoes are falling apart but i'm committed to six more weeks before retiring them after the hagg lake 25k (http://haggmud.com/)
