The Power of "No More"
From the first time I picked up a guitar, paint brush or pen & paper, I've sought only to represent the ideas in my own head. Mixed in with whatever outside influences, of course. The idea and goal has also been to make at least a partial living doing this. This requires the "approval" of others. Now, decades after the first time picking up a guitar, paint brush or pen & paper, I've not only realized that the idea of "approval" has it's own influence on my "art" but I've also realized (I've always felt this, actually) that there's very few people (IF ANY) who's opinion I could even pretend to respect enough to make this "approval" make sense. Don't want to be a part of this process anymore. For the last few years I've sought the purest route to the "source" as possible. Just the idea of putting it "out there" compromises the work. Wether it be music, painting or writing, it was always an attempt to get the stuff out of my head and into some sort of final expression that represented that. Looking through my writing, there is an obvious difference between what I show people and what I don't show people. Same as my music. I don't appreciate this difference and what the influence of seeking "approval" does to my "art." My "work." It sucks that it took me this long to realize what the real conflict has been with my pursuits of music and writing. But....I HAVE realized it now and I can walk away.
