DaCrizzow

  it's my "off" week so no running. yeah, i could do a couple short runs but i'm learning more and more each year that i should really take advantage of these weeks and focus on diet, rest, reading, writing, life shit and maybe some cross-training. so i went on a bike ride. a road bike ride.   i headed out on a familiar route up hwy 30, turning up and climbing newberry road, then descending mcnamee road, heading back down hwy 30 home.   it was a little rough on the climb. hard to reconcile not being in "racing shape" anymore. on the bike, anyway. funny how all the running miles don't really translate to bike miles. not that i'm in worse shape, it's just different. i mean, if it really came down, i could hang for a long ride with any group of my cycling friends but very, VERY few of them could hang on a run in the woods with me. knowing this keeps it in perspective.   i did, however enjoy reliving some of my old winter training rituals. laying

  18 years i've been cooking pizza. when i first started i swore that i would never do this again once i got out. i got out over and over but kept coming back. i even managed to quit once and get a gig in an office but it was bullshit and after three weeks i quit and started working as a bike messenger. even then, i would pick up pizza gigs during the winter slow months.   since moving to portland in 2003, i had been working as a pizza cook at the same location until around august when i was fired. reason's are a little shady and don't matter anyway, so....immediately picked up another gig as a pizza cook and after two weeks realized that job was NOT gonna last. for all kinds of reasons. so i jumped ship to yet another pizza gig. fun place, good food, good music and nice co-workers. probably the nicest co-workers i've ever had. but....it just wasn't the right place for me.   the "climate" is changing in the service industry due to some new labor laws.

  it's been asked (or just plain stated) at times wether all my running and cycling is just transferring my addiction. i always get a little wound up with this and tend to go off a bit but to be honest, "yes." yes, it probably is. i know how i acted when i was as an alcoholic and an addict and i know how i act as a sober endurance athlete. i think i can make my peace with this idea of "just switching addictions."   one of the differences i've noticed is when hard times and D&A (drugs and alcohol) are combined, i put on a mask. that mask can take a few different forms, wether it's being funny, the face of an addict angry, violent, conniving, etc. pretty much anything to cover my fear, shame and whatever lies i'm weaving. take away the D&A and try running or biking anywhere between 5-12 hours and the mask comes off. somewhere in there the true self comes out. wether it's how you handle your body feeling like it's falling apart,

week 2 of 7 for Hagg Lake 25k *1/7-14.4mi. 3:00hrs 1358 elev *1/8- 3.8mi. :42hrs 210 elev *1/9-20.5mi. 3:39hrs 2310 elev *1/11-8.1mi. 1:47hrs 1014elev TOTALS-46.8mi 9:08hrs 4892elev added a day and a few more miles. may have pushed it a bit with the weighted backpack in between my long runs. nothing bad but could feel a possible injury waiting to happen. maybe this kind of milage jump, i'll keep it natural for awhile.  diet getting a little better. not enough juicing but eating a little better in general

  classic portland winter weather finally came back. temps in the 40's and raining. as a cyclist i much prefer cold and dry but as a runner i can go either way but sometimes running in that nice mist underneath a full canopy can be very cleansing. i went out for a 14 miler with my friend i've been coaching a couple days ago. it didn't start out very "cleansing" but it sure as hell ended that way.   we headed out and right off the bat we were at two different energies. i had been downing quite a bit of coffee. as soon as we hit the trail, i started talking about all kinds of shit going on in my life. most of the time this is a pretty good technique as it can pass the time and somehow transport us back to the trailhead as if it were just a walk in the park. didn't quite go that way this time around.   i have a friend that i train with from time to time and most of the time we can just discuss life shit, get some laughs out of it, maybe some good solutions, s

week 1 of 7 for Hagg Lake 25k 12/31/13-12.4mi. 2:25hrs. 1839ft 1/2/14-20.1mi. 3:31hrs. 3057 ft 1/4/14-8.2mi 1:38hrs 885ft total-40.7mi 7:34hrs. 5772ft from 170lbs to 169 diet a little slow going but getting back on track. life stress still playing a big part. funny how much that can affect diet/digestion and rest

  16 years ago i'm standing in a pizza shop about 4:00 in the morning after close with a hand full of cash collecting blood from my hands after smashing and ripping out the plate glass window out front. a few minutes away from finding some hood rat to show me to a crackhouse. 'well goddamn, it's the pizza man.' he says.   sometimes it's hard to realize i was ever in that place but as soon as i give it a moment's thought, i'm right there on the edge. that guy is still there. waiting. always waiting for me.   from time to time i hear of one of my old junkie friends ODing or one of my old alcoholic friends finally drinking themselves to death or just finally giving out from living such shitty lives for so long. every time i hear this news i always say the same thing. "better him than me." yeah, i say that. i don't give a fuck who hears me either. getting sober wasn't easy. staying sober is even harder. someone asked me once, what the crazies

http://www.strava.com/activities/104075351   only three workout days this week. it's only the first week of the year and i'm already freaking out that i'm not training enough. jesus, what the hell is wrong with me? i ran without my ipod tonight. just me and my thoughts. mind numbing, right? actually it's not that bad. for some reason, running with music ca sometimes lead me deeper and deeper into that inner dialogue vortex where nothing good ever comes of it. that inner dialogue that turns more into an interrogation on what am i doing with my life... what the hell was i thinking...does karma really exist...you get the idea.   all these years of sobriety and nothing has really changed. except maybe the coping mechanism. where i used to use drugs and alcohol to shut out the voices, now i rely on prolonged pain and exertion. running, cycling, more tattoos, low carb diets....   there are the days where i just don't want to get off my ass and do ANYTHING much less go

http://www.strava.com/activities/1035959   starting out with a big run for 2014. had been up in the air about doing a 20 this soon. needed a 16 for training for a race in february but a 20 was really clouding my head. i had a "meeting" earlier in the morning and it left me a little wound up. (more on that another time). i hadn't even eaten yet so after the meeting i came home and had three eggs. filled two water bottles, one with water and the other with two packets of those starbucks via packets. (http://www.starbucks.com/coffee/medium/iced-coffee-blend/via) and headed out the door.   i can't hardly listen to music anymore on my runs unless it's some instrumental traditional world music but usually it's either a podcast or nothing at all. for myself, running in winter can be a little too much like "training" than i prefer. as i prefer the shorts, minimalist shoes, no socks, no shirt, maybe some water (maybe not) and heading out for as long as i ca