Breathe
After many, many years of being intrigued with this, I finally experienced my first "float" session. 90 minutes inside of a soundproof, lightproof tank filled with water and epsom salt heated to the body's natural temperature.
The process is pretty simple. I was given my own little tank room with a little dressing bench and a shower. I showered quickly first and as I was stepping into the tank, I Immediately noticed how comfortably warm the water was. I crouched down inside and pulled the door shut. BLAST OFF! Right away I could feel something stir. It's a slightly jarring feeling having your immediate surroundings, sensations and distractions taken away all at once like that. I laid back, adjusted to this new floating sensation and waited....
I couldn't ignore my "panic" reaction. Nothing bad, but with a history of drug use and abuse in my background, along with some meditation and therapy, I could recognize my physical reactions. There was some tension in certain areas. My hands were slightly tense, my neck and my lower back. My physical reaction to "letting go." I was also having trouble breathing out of my nose. The deep (and a little rapid) breaths that my body seemed to be demanding were just too much for my nose. More physical panic. Like I said, this wasn't a bad feeling. Maybe it would've been if without my history and the mental notes I generally take during moments of stress but I recognized what was happening and tried to just let it happen and enjoy the experience.
After awhile of just getting used to this new intense sensation (or anti-sensation) I started using some meditation techniques to kind of bring it all in. The tension in my muscles went away and even though I still needed to breath out of my mouth, my breathing got very relaxed and with a much slower tempo, albeit much deeper. My heartbeat was in the low 40's. And very loud.
Once everything was calm and I felt like I was on that edge of control/ non-control where it could go either way, I started to stretch a bit. This was amazing. Imagine those long intense full-body stretches you do while still in bed on a lazy Sunday morning, now take away the bed....Yeah. Intense. This is when I felt myself going to another plane and I decided to let go of the idea of meditating and for this time just experience the tank. And then I opened my eyes....
My eyes had been closed this entire time and when I opened them there was absolutely no difference. Other than the visions. There were those little flashes of light you get when you rub your eyes while they're shut but now I could actually follow them. There were some other more realistic stuff but it was all very fluid and I couldn't really hold onto them or follow them. And at some point I just drifted off.
I didn't go to sleep or become mindless or anything like that. I was completely conscious and aware but seriously existing in another realm in my mind. A layer of the onion had been peeled and I knew this. I also knew there was much deeper to go. I was floating and soaring, I was everywhere and nowhere. I was forever and I was never-was.
The sound of my heartbeat and my breathing had disappeared and There were now tones of different pitches happening. And not the usual tinnitus that I hear constantly but long beeps and tones like alien computers speaking to each other. I felt like it was something being released in my brain and traveling through my veins and arteries, communicating with the rest of my body. By this time I was completely at the mercy of whatever was happening.
Then a low tone came through and I was having some trouble with this as far as where it was coming from. Was this an internal or external tone? Then some chimes came through and I knew it was the music that they play to let me know my session was over. I emerged from the tank, walked a few feet over and took a shower, washing tons of salt water out of my hair. got dressed, and headed out on my way home.
I walked there so now I would walk back. Two miles back to my apartment through the Hawthorne area of portland so I would have a scenic walk through one of Portland's more colorful areas providing a very zen like opportunity to continue processing it all.
While not exactly sure what had happened other than what I've read happens during these sessions, I recognized that feeling that of when I've passed through doors and on my way back I either leave something behind or bring something back. This was one of those times.
The float itself wasn't an isolated experience. It's just a door. On my way home I stopped by the grocery, the coffee shop and then home. Waves of "information" just kept coming. My sleep was filled with incredibly lucid dreams and when I woke I had that feeling one has the day after a really long bike ride or run. Feeling very spent yet rejuvenated at the same time. My mind feels very clear on what's happening in my life right now and my immediate options unobstructed from the usual distractions.
I've been to this before. Usually after a 20 mile run in the desert without food or water, a 100 mile bike ride in 90 degree heat with very little water or a 30 mile trail run while doing mushrooms. I tend to go the physical exertion route to enlightenment. Emotional trauma has gotten me here as well. Of course fasting and prolonged meditation can get you here too. This was like the eternal internal zen master monk of the cosmic consciousness holding me down in a sleeper hold and telling me, 'you will reach nothingness, you will reach nothingness...' Like when the cheetah catches an antelope and as the antelope tries to fight while the cheetah just clamps down on his jugular, the cheetah starts purring so the antelope will relax as if saying, 'don't fight it little antelope, my dearly respected source of life and energy. Go gently into the dark night to await your next revolution of life and energy...'Float On
The process is pretty simple. I was given my own little tank room with a little dressing bench and a shower. I showered quickly first and as I was stepping into the tank, I Immediately noticed how comfortably warm the water was. I crouched down inside and pulled the door shut. BLAST OFF! Right away I could feel something stir. It's a slightly jarring feeling having your immediate surroundings, sensations and distractions taken away all at once like that. I laid back, adjusted to this new floating sensation and waited....
I couldn't ignore my "panic" reaction. Nothing bad, but with a history of drug use and abuse in my background, along with some meditation and therapy, I could recognize my physical reactions. There was some tension in certain areas. My hands were slightly tense, my neck and my lower back. My physical reaction to "letting go." I was also having trouble breathing out of my nose. The deep (and a little rapid) breaths that my body seemed to be demanding were just too much for my nose. More physical panic. Like I said, this wasn't a bad feeling. Maybe it would've been if without my history and the mental notes I generally take during moments of stress but I recognized what was happening and tried to just let it happen and enjoy the experience.
After awhile of just getting used to this new intense sensation (or anti-sensation) I started using some meditation techniques to kind of bring it all in. The tension in my muscles went away and even though I still needed to breath out of my mouth, my breathing got very relaxed and with a much slower tempo, albeit much deeper. My heartbeat was in the low 40's. And very loud.
Once everything was calm and I felt like I was on that edge of control/ non-control where it could go either way, I started to stretch a bit. This was amazing. Imagine those long intense full-body stretches you do while still in bed on a lazy Sunday morning, now take away the bed....Yeah. Intense. This is when I felt myself going to another plane and I decided to let go of the idea of meditating and for this time just experience the tank. And then I opened my eyes....
My eyes had been closed this entire time and when I opened them there was absolutely no difference. Other than the visions. There were those little flashes of light you get when you rub your eyes while they're shut but now I could actually follow them. There were some other more realistic stuff but it was all very fluid and I couldn't really hold onto them or follow them. And at some point I just drifted off.
I didn't go to sleep or become mindless or anything like that. I was completely conscious and aware but seriously existing in another realm in my mind. A layer of the onion had been peeled and I knew this. I also knew there was much deeper to go. I was floating and soaring, I was everywhere and nowhere. I was forever and I was never-was.
The sound of my heartbeat and my breathing had disappeared and There were now tones of different pitches happening. And not the usual tinnitus that I hear constantly but long beeps and tones like alien computers speaking to each other. I felt like it was something being released in my brain and traveling through my veins and arteries, communicating with the rest of my body. By this time I was completely at the mercy of whatever was happening.
Then a low tone came through and I was having some trouble with this as far as where it was coming from. Was this an internal or external tone? Then some chimes came through and I knew it was the music that they play to let me know my session was over. I emerged from the tank, walked a few feet over and took a shower, washing tons of salt water out of my hair. got dressed, and headed out on my way home.
I walked there so now I would walk back. Two miles back to my apartment through the Hawthorne area of portland so I would have a scenic walk through one of Portland's more colorful areas providing a very zen like opportunity to continue processing it all.
While not exactly sure what had happened other than what I've read happens during these sessions, I recognized that feeling that of when I've passed through doors and on my way back I either leave something behind or bring something back. This was one of those times.
The float itself wasn't an isolated experience. It's just a door. On my way home I stopped by the grocery, the coffee shop and then home. Waves of "information" just kept coming. My sleep was filled with incredibly lucid dreams and when I woke I had that feeling one has the day after a really long bike ride or run. Feeling very spent yet rejuvenated at the same time. My mind feels very clear on what's happening in my life right now and my immediate options unobstructed from the usual distractions.
I've been to this before. Usually after a 20 mile run in the desert without food or water, a 100 mile bike ride in 90 degree heat with very little water or a 30 mile trail run while doing mushrooms. I tend to go the physical exertion route to enlightenment. Emotional trauma has gotten me here as well. Of course fasting and prolonged meditation can get you here too. This was like the eternal internal zen master monk of the cosmic consciousness holding me down in a sleeper hold and telling me, 'you will reach nothingness, you will reach nothingness...' Like when the cheetah catches an antelope and as the antelope tries to fight while the cheetah just clamps down on his jugular, the cheetah starts purring so the antelope will relax as if saying, 'don't fight it little antelope, my dearly respected source of life and energy. Go gently into the dark night to await your next revolution of life and energy...'Float On
