UNTITLED

    This act of running, for me, is only a means to an end. Or better, a means to a journey. I've used several "vehicles" for this journey over the years. Music, drugs & alcohol, cycling, art, food, running just to name a few. Some playing bigger roles than others and probably a couple I've forgotten but none the less, these have all played big roles in getting me from one place of self to another place of self. So, with this in mind, I'm in the beginning of one of the biggest "journeys" and transformations of my life as are a lot of people in my life and on the peripheries of my social circle. And wether we know it or not, I think most of us are either on a new journey or about to be, either on a personal or on a more collective level. I can't speak for anyone else but this journey I'm on is a scary, soul crushing trip into blind faith that there is a light at the end somewhere. And very little faith at that. There is no "yellow brick road" as there is no obvious path to follow. And for probably the first time in my life, my internal GPS has absolutely no predetermined destination in mind. Maybe it's a good thing, maybe not. It is what it is.
    As this little bloggy thing tends to be my training, race reports and random musings while running, again it's only a vehicle. The physical part of physical, mental, emotional and spiritual gets covered pretty well. Maybe a little more focus on the other aspects are due. So as most of my endeavors are really just an excuse to find a truer or better self, they're also sometimes about making connections. hard to believe there's much connecting going on while running around in the woods for 5-6 hours but there is. So while I'm on this really fucked up, confusing journey, I'm gonna take you guys along for some of it in (somewhat) real time. I might have to wait until some of it gets to a certain point to share just so I don't worry anyone but that's really just editing. I don't know, we'll make it up as we go.

    About a year ago I got divorced and left that life with a huge debt only to get bigger as I started over. Getting fired from my job of ten years right after didn't help. A little time unemployed and the next few gigs paying quite a bit less really stacked things against me. Things aren't so good and they're probably gonna get a lot worse. They're getting a lot worse for a lot of people. The over pass a few blocks from my apartment used to look like a camp for "Mad Max" extras, now looks like a patio of a sports bar. Still a lot of beat down guys with their tents and broken lawn chairs but now it's at least half filled with guys in cargo shorts, polos and button downs and folding camp chairs. Doesn't seem to be anymore additional tents but a lot more SUV's and Toyota pick-ups that look like they're being slept in. These aren't bums and drug addicts. These are guys that have been "downsized" or taken some other hit that didn't used to be such a big deal but as pay has gone down, cost of living gone up and businesses going on a "slash and burn" with their employees, we're gonna see a lot more of this. Some of us will see it much closer than others. We've been headed here for awhile. Some saw it ahead of time, probably because of their own situations and managed to avoid it through living more simple, house sharing, whatever. Getting to your 40's or 50's, it's a little harder to consider this idea of house sharing or going back to the idea of a "bro-house" but it's coming, man. It's coming. Maybe you'll be spared. Maybe not.  But somebody you know will get hit. And probably someone who's never been near this "place" before. This place of "no where else to go and not know what to do.
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