The Risk Management Diversification Road Trip

    Seven days (two travel, one recovery and four "adventure"). 686 miles (636 in the van traveling, 50+ on foot). This was my vacation...part of my vacation. This, along with exploring some caves, a lot of food, reading, and staring at the sky. The "numbers" come out more like, 52+ miles, 13,000(ish) accumulated elevation in about 23 hours total. Covering two summits, another "just below" summit and a run around and through a volcano crater. This was a week of living the new "American dream." Living in a van, down by the river. Even if after three nights of van living and hiking three mountains, the dream got interrupted with a night in a motel. A shower, pizza and some mindless TV can really rejuvenate a guy. That third morning getting out of my sleeping bag, a wave of stink made it's way up from what I assume was my crotch area that I can only describe as cheap, stale peanut butter gone bad. You "choosy" mothers know what I'm talking about.
    I could go on about each hike, summit, little adventure or whatever but most of that stuff is just numbers. Don't get me wrong, I love my "numbers" but that's more for my notebooks. If I start talking too much of that shit, it sounds too much like my cycling friends. Before you know it, I'll be comparing weight and material compounds of my water bottles. Not about that.
    What I am about, however, is finding spaces and adventures outside of my self to inspire spaces and adventures within.
    Most of my bullshit time is spent either watching documentaries or reading about archeology, anthropology or religion. This is how I connect the past with the present with the "future." "Future," whatever bullshit concept that is.  Just the idea of thinking of the future affects the outcome. So as the past becomes the present becomes the future becomes the present becomes the past, just the act of observation can affect the outcome. This is why I run in the woods and look at the sky so much. One of the reasons. It's also much cheaper and effective than therapy.
    These summit hikes I did aren't "technical." No real gear like crampons or ice axes needed. As hard as some of it was, I saw families with small kids, people well into their 60's-70's and on my way down one of the more difficult areas from the South Sister summit, I stopped and talked for awhile with a mentally handicapped kid on a solo hike to the summit. It takes some fitness but I think some "heart" and enthusiasm are AT LEAST as important. As far as danger goes, there's possibilities for things to go incredibly wrong but for the most part, just some awareness of one's self and surroundings are enough precaution. And water, of course.
    Speaking of water. The crater of Broken Top and the Summit of the South Sister both provided amazing, magical glacier water that we filled our hydration packs up with. No filter, of course. Nothing hits the spot like glacier water that you had to climb thousands of feet to get to. I also found the source of a stream coming straight from the ground that I drank from. Again, no filter.
    At night I would step out of my van to piss and at 5,000-6,000 ft elevation, the stars mean so much more, especially in the wilderness areas with no light whatsoever. You can't help but stand there with your dick in your hand contemplating that shit. Just like they were doing thousands of years ago. Tens of thousands of years ago. Hundreds of thousands of years ago. Millions of years ago?
   We've been left with so many signs and clues that connect the earth with the sky. Signs and clues telling us to look to the sky for answers here on earth. Or maybe for more questions here on earth. We've got all the answers and solutions already but maybe we're not asking the right questions.
    We're on this amazing, self-sustaining spaceship that's cruising through time and space at over 1,000 miles per hour with all of the resources and supplies we'll ever need but of course as human greed and idiocracy increasingly takes over, more and more of these resources are being hoarded and kept away from the general masses unless a certain price is met. I'm not sure this is as much of the problem in as much as what the "general mass" has become. Half the world are living the apocalypse and the other half living in a constant complaint of "1st World Problems." And ALL the world killing each other over some silly ass religious bullshit. Having been born and raised in the south, I can't help but be reminded of those years when hearing about the shit going on in the middle east. Yeah, I'm comparing the middle east to the southern United States. A bunch of uneducated racists and misogynists cowering around their guns, wars and religion from the panic caused by change, progress and evolution.
    While myself and others search for questions, answers, motivation and inspiration via movement through nature, be it through remote wilderness or even a long walk through my city, I can't help but feel threatened by the constant presence of the military and the church. Where does one begin and one end? Didn't they both conspire to kill this "Jesus?" Do any of these "churchies" even realize that Jesus was against the concept of church? Do they not realize it was the church who had him killed because he spoke against "tithing" stating that within each man is GOD and the church is just another form of government trying to take and take?
    At a certain point of prolonged exertion, running and walking up hills, going higher and higher, the mind and soul wanders. I find myself getting lost in thoughts on the concept of "zero" first conceived by the mesopotamians and the mayans (independently) and our current concept of "zero." And my concept of "zero."
    I had always thought of myself as "one." I think most of us do. Then at some point one of those nights standing outside my van with my dick in my hand, pissing, and staring at the sky, a shooting star goes by and I realize I am "zero." I AM ZERO. Everyone else is "1." To others I may be "1" but very few others, I assume. One's and zeros. like a computer program. Considering that some of the scientists researching string theory have discovered a "self-correcting" area within the equation that shows itself as 1's and zeros, this isn't completely off the grid. There's an order in our universe wether it's set in stone or more fluid and changing may be up for discussion but personally, I believe it's ever evolving or this place would've become a dry wasteland hundreds of thousands of years ago. Maybe that's what happened to places like mars once the bees disappeared. From the photos I've seen, it sure looks like an abandoned planet whose resources have long since been used up.
    Maybe once we've depleted the planet along with depleting ourselves, a new wave of panspermia can make it's impact on Earth replenish our planet with new life again and maybe we can at some point millions of years from now begin a world without armies or religions and have a society and economy based on truth and inspiration. maybe we're headed to it now with this new horizon headed our way by the procession of the equinox, leaving the age of pisces and into the age of aquarius. It's being estimated that by the year 2047 there will finally be less people claiming a religion than those who don't. That, however, does NOT mean there will be less people searching for "GOD." From where I'm sitting, I already see more people searching for "GOD" without the interference and deception of the church. Without the interference and deception of the military. Church and military does NOT represent faith, truth and strength. They represent lies, deception, manipulation and weakness.
   Get out of your cars, out of your houses. Go outside. Give shit away. Test your levels of discomfort. Test your preconceptions of yourself and the world around you. FUCKING MOVE!!!
    Every time I step outside I'm in church. Wether it's a walk to the store, a bike ride through the hills near my apartment or running for hours on end through the woods. Every time, there's an opportunity for me to connect with the universe, my creator, my friends and family that have passed or even memories that have long since been hidden away (repressed memories hide in your hamstrings and calfs). Every time I toe the line at a race, I'm in the company of fellow soldiers, wether they're aware of it or not.
Soldiers fighting a war within themselves. Again, wether they're aware of it or not. Soldiers ultimately searching for peace. Or even at times, being one of those members of that elite "platoon" that only exists for a few moments at a time. That platoon of "soldiers" on their way down from a summit or viewpoint that have that smile and look of satisfaction of reaching their out point and now on their way back to the trailhead. The guys who as you pass say things like, 'You're almost there.' Or, 'It's totally worth it.' I've seen that look so many times and I've had that look myself, so many times but it doesn't last. It's addictive and it's fleeting but it's real. And while this journey is by no means an "out & back," there are lots signs and cairns marking the way. Some are side trips or distractions or even misleading. There are even souls along the way telling me I'm "almost there," or "It's totally worth it." There are also those weaker souls telling me to turn back. I choose to ignore them and keep going. As long as the trail takes me higher.