As Long As I Can Take One More Step
Not much I can do now but rest, stretch eat right and get my attitude together. Next weekend, July 12, I'll run 50 miles then two weeks later do it again. I had had some hopes of hitting a PR, maybe come in under 9:30 hours. Don't see that happening though. So....this is where getting my attitude right comes in.
I came in to 2014 strong. Several back to back long runs for a few weeks, followed by several weeks of some good 20 mile runs before everything got shifted around. As it turns out, stress and emotions are directly connected with my back, legs and feet. Didn't take long till I had some kind of issue going on with all three. Training all but stopped. I managed a 40 miler that went really well but just recently ran a 35 miler that just about broke me. Now, when I say "broke," it doesn't mean what it used to mean. It used to lie more along the lines of almost being reduced to tears. These days it's more about problem solving, moving forward and keeping the cut-off time in mind.
I use these long runs as opportunities for therapy, vision questing and just testing myself in general. I've been a little worried about going into these two races as unprepared as I am but I can't let myself be too concerned. I can always pull out 20 miles, maybe 30-35 on a good day. The rest is just....well, the rest is just getting through the day.
I've had several friends who've done some rituals with native american groups. One of those rituals involves spending 48 hours alone on a 10x10 foot blanket with no food, clothes or water. I've been told by some this was a vision quest, by others that it was an effort to remove self-pity. Seems like it could go either way to me. But, it occurred to me while slogging through a 4.5 mile race a couple days ago that being under prepared as I am right now, the likelihood of me reaching that "place" is much more likely to happen. Following it up two weeks later will lead me well into "no man's land." At least well into "this man's no man's
land." Wether it leads me to a vision or away from self-pity, either way it should provide me some answers. Or provide me some questions to lead me on my path.
As far as this notion of being prepared goes....I may not be prepared to "race" 50 miles but I'm damn well prepared to travel 50 miles by foot with RELENTLESS FORWARD MOMENTUM. It's passed my mind that most of these indigenous cultures didn't necessarily "train" for these vision quests other than just living life and maybe a few days of fasting, dancing and some hallucinogenics. I probably won't do any fasting or hallucinogenics but maybe a little dancing here and there.
Yeah, so at the beginning of the year when I laid out my race schedule, I had different plans. A couple races were meant to be "A" races. Races where I was going for results. A few of them were meant to be "training" races where I either used them as a supported long run or some shorter ones for speed work. And at least one was just for the adventure. But things change and shit happens. The races are still there and I'm going to do them. This is life. Prepared or not prepared, running 50 miles is still running 50 miles. Doing it again two weeks later is a whole different story. It'll be a rough story to live through while it's happening but pain goes away. The experience doesn't. So while I've put aside any hopes for good results or a personal best, I'm looking forward to this experience and where it will take me. What I'll leave behind.
I use these long runs as opportunities for therapy, vision questing and just testing myself in general. I've been a little worried about going into these two races as unprepared as I am but I can't let myself be too concerned. I can always pull out 20 miles, maybe 30-35 on a good day. The rest is just....well, the rest is just getting through the day.
I've had several friends who've done some rituals with native american groups. One of those rituals involves spending 48 hours alone on a 10x10 foot blanket with no food, clothes or water. I've been told by some this was a vision quest, by others that it was an effort to remove self-pity. Seems like it could go either way to me. But, it occurred to me while slogging through a 4.5 mile race a couple days ago that being under prepared as I am right now, the likelihood of me reaching that "place" is much more likely to happen. Following it up two weeks later will lead me well into "no man's land." At least well into "this man's no man's
land." Wether it leads me to a vision or away from self-pity, either way it should provide me some answers. Or provide me some questions to lead me on my path.
As far as this notion of being prepared goes....I may not be prepared to "race" 50 miles but I'm damn well prepared to travel 50 miles by foot with RELENTLESS FORWARD MOMENTUM. It's passed my mind that most of these indigenous cultures didn't necessarily "train" for these vision quests other than just living life and maybe a few days of fasting, dancing and some hallucinogenics. I probably won't do any fasting or hallucinogenics but maybe a little dancing here and there.
Yeah, so at the beginning of the year when I laid out my race schedule, I had different plans. A couple races were meant to be "A" races. Races where I was going for results. A few of them were meant to be "training" races where I either used them as a supported long run or some shorter ones for speed work. And at least one was just for the adventure. But things change and shit happens. The races are still there and I'm going to do them. This is life. Prepared or not prepared, running 50 miles is still running 50 miles. Doing it again two weeks later is a whole different story. It'll be a rough story to live through while it's happening but pain goes away. The experience doesn't. So while I've put aside any hopes for good results or a personal best, I'm looking forward to this experience and where it will take me. What I'll leave behind.
